Can a Self Help Seminar Change Your Life?

Self help is the new thing; whether you choose to attend a self help seminar, read a self help book, or look into getting a mentor there is certainly no shame in taking steps toward making yourself better for the good of not only yourself, but the other people in your life as well. While reading books and talking with the right people can make a world of difference, such a seminar may certainly be regarded as a more well-rounded approach toward bettering your own life. No matter what it is in your life that you feel you could improve upon, you can rest assured that there is some type of seminar or program out there that you can attend that can give you just the step in the right direction that you require.

Your Job May Sponsor a Self Improvement Seminar for You

If you are interested in attending a self help seminar, you may want to consider talking to your employer about sponsoring your attendance at such an event. Depending on the type of help that you are looking for, whether it is regarding motivation, management skills, more effective time management, leadership or anything else off that nature it is worth a try. Many employers are able to be persuaded that not only is such a seminar a good idea for your own personal improvement but that it will be for the better of the company as well. While it may take a bit of persuading, and to the right person at that, talking to your employer about sponsorship is certainly worth a try.

Deciding if a Certain Seminar Is Worth It to You

It is important to take into consideration that not all self help seminar sessions are going to be wroth the money. It is important to find out as much as you can about the seminar program in advance, as they are usually fairly costly. It is important to understand the costs of certain seminar programs and what the cost entails; is it an overnight stay? Is there food included? Is there lodging included? What types of programs can you expect from such a seminar or conference?

You may also want to discuss the impact that certain seminar events have had on those who attended them. Personal testimonials found on a website are not always the type of thing that you want to depend on when it comes to such programs. What some people are looking for in a seminar program they might have found; talk to people that you know that have similar goals to the ones that you have, and see if they were able to reach them with the help of the program.

Choosing the right self help seminar is not always easy, and neither is deciding if one is worth it to you. For those out there who truly feel that self improvement seminars can help them to reach their goals, looking into one is not only a good idea but an important step in reaching such goals.

Technology Advances in Time Management

Since technology is, advancing time management strategies if all ready constructed should be modified accordingly. Technology has come a long way since its early beginning in the 80s. Nearly every business today is upgrading computers, software, and hardware, and so on to keep up with the times. If we have our own business and upgraded, we know that the prices of software, hardware and computers has changed also.

Nowadays we can get computers for less than $500 if we search the market thoroughly for the best prices. Time management is essential for business transactions, family, entertainment, goals, and so much more. When we develop a time management scheme that works smoothly to reach our goals, it makes our life much easier. Managing time is not always easy since times change dramatically, and in some instances every day. Most of us are aware that when we purchase a computer it is all ready outdated once it hits our desk.

Therefore, we need to know which computer can benefit our business best, and at the same time get prices that match our budget plan in our time management scheme. Computers should have at least 512 RAM or DDRAM to run smoothly in business transactions. So when you are purchasing a computer for business relations, make sure the RAM is sufficient, as well as the CPU since it plays a role in Speed. The hard drive should be at least 80 GHz to operate the average small business. Hard drives are relatively inexpensive nowadays, so if you find a good price on a computer, you can always upgrade later. Software is also important in business relations and time management. If you buy software that does not coordinate with other programs, you will run into conflicts, which waste time and money.

If your computer is conflicting with other programs, then it often leads to difficult situations. You should also include Virus Scanners, Spyware, and Adware Programs, since nowadays everyone is attacked at some point in a year. Other types of software that could benefit your business are Microsoft Outlook, which has features and tools for storing files, managing files, and storing important information, keeping your files organized.

There are a variety of software's on the marketplace specifically designed for businesses of all sizes and the prices start low in some instances and go up in other cases. Depends on the size of your business, so be sure to get what you need, and not what you want since budgeting is a part of reaching your goals. Remember in some instances we can't avoid saving, since generic programs may waste our time when they fail. It might be wise to purchase a program that is a bit more expensive. This may save you time and money in the long run.

You might also want to search for a program that makes backing up large files, or a number of files easier. Backups can take time if you have a hard drive full of files. Storage mediums are available in case you want to back your files up to disc or tape and store them in a safe area. Some business owners include in their time management scheme a well-developed plan for backups. Some businesses store files on a central computer stored outside of their office. This not only provides a securer source for saving your data, it also provides a solution if disaster hits your building.

Software programs that cut cost and spares time are the best programs to purchase. Be sure to clean you computer regularly, since space is essential in time management. If you store files on your computer and rarely clean it, it will backup your hard drive and your computer may crash. In addition, you can purchase affordable software that can help keep your computer clean and running smoothly.

Develop Self-Esteem Via Self-Improvement Skills - Develop Self-Esteem For Leadership

Aristotle, who is among the best-known classical Greek philosophers, wrote about how important it is to develop self-esteem. Founders of religions also have had an influence on personal development techniques as we know them today. I talk about self-improvement skills that give you the opportunity to build self-confidence with confidence-building methods, which are based on ancient ideals, in this commentary.

"Humility: Imitate Jesus Christ and Socrates." Benjamin Franklin

Socrates was a classical Greek philosopher who helped provided the foundation for Western civilization. Plato's work is the most reliable source of records concerning his mentor Socrates. Plato portrayed Socrates as a man who listened to a "divine voice in his head." Some philosophies of Socrates and Jesus Christ were very similar.

"Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others." Socrates

The position of Socrates is similar to a commandment, which Jesus expressed in the Sermon on the Mount; and it is one of the central ethical values of Jesus Christ. Notice the philosophical similarity of what Socrates recommended with the well-known Golden Rule, which was put forth over some 400 years after the execution of Socrates.

"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law of the prophets." (Matthew 7:12 KJV)

The life of Socrates is generally considered a paradigm of philosophic life; and it is generally a good model for anyone to imitate. Socrates has been admired and emulated on a par with founders of religions like Jesus Christ and Buddha. This is a paradox because Socrates was tried, convicted; and executed on the grounds of being irreverent toward the Greek gods.

Aristotle, who was a student of Plato and therefore received many of his values indirectly from Socrates, did more than simply intellectualize a theory about how people should behave. He created written instructions in his book, Nicomachean Ethics, which extolled the value of having high self-esteem; and there are self-improvement skills, which are included in confidence-building methods to develop self-esteem to give you the opportunity to produce a leadership quality personality, which are based on that ancient document.

Opportunity for Self-Improvement Skills

The best self-improvement skills, of which I am aware, to develop self-esteem and to give you the opportunity build self-confidence are confidence-building methods that I call "behavior strategies."

The behavior strategies are 3 premeditated and deliberate self-improvement skills to develop the core values, as described in Aristotle Ethics, and to develop self-esteem. The behavior strategies are used to condition your subconscious mind; and therefore you can change your subconscious thoughts, which actually control your behavior 90% of the time.

Let me be clear about this, you never even "hear" your subconscious thoughts; but they control your behavior a vast majority of the time. Ergo, you can develop self-esteem by developing your subconscious reaction to your environment. You do not have to allow the bad things in your past control your subconscious thoughts, which trigger your behavior most of the time.

You can control your personality, and not the other way around, simply by conditioning your subconscious triggers. You can develop self-esteem and build self-confidence by using self-improvement skills to change your thoughts on the subconscious level, from negative to positive thinking. You can control your power of positive thinking on the subconscious level.

You only need to take the opportunity to put into practice easy-to-do confidence-building methods, and to develop behavior that is consistent with Aristotle Ethics. Dedicate a total of about 60 minutes a day; the exercises are divided into 10 and 20-minute simple procedures, and so it will not interrupt your schedule.

You'll have the opportunity to do it while you are in your underwear & reclining in an easy chair; or even while you are relaxing on your bed. You can develop self-esteem, build self-confidence, get poise, willpower & faith, and; actually, you can get anything that you really want by using the self-improvement skills of the tried and proven confidence-building methods.

The World's Greatest Self-improvement Superheroes and Their Success Secrets

Have you ever realized that you have the power to get anything you want and be anything you want to be? If you're still clueless about your abilities, continue reading and learn about the success secrets of the world's greatest self-improvement superheroes.

In a land full of potentials, powerful superheroes live in happiness and fulfillment. But they're not just ordinary superheroes; they belong to the highest breeds of the self-improvement clan. They possess the superhuman ability to get anything they want. Let's meet them and discover their success secrets.

1) ASSIGNMENTORS!

These superheroes are able to acquire any quality or ability that they may desire. They even have the power to instill or "assign" qualities to others, hence contributing to the immense build-up of confidence and happiness.

Success Secret:

They use other names perceived to be superior. If they want to encourage someone to write better, they might say, "You're a great writer, Ernest Hemmingway. I believe you can always surpass your previous articles."

By assigning the name Ernest Hemmingway to the writer, they implant within him, in a subconscious manner, the writing prowess of Ernest. On the other hand, the writer will try his best to live up to everyone's expectations that he, indeed, possesses the ability of Mr. Hemmingway.

They also do the bizarre yet highly powerful practice of putting someone else's head into their heads, at least in their minds. If they want to be as intelligent as Einstein, they go to a quiet place where they can relax and concentrate. Then they imagine wearing Einstein's head over them. They absorb his aura; and surprisingly, they will begin to think, act, and feel like Einstein.

2) GOAL MASTERS!

Goal masters are positively mad scientists who meticulously prepare well-laid plans and goals that allow them to conquer their future.

Success Secret:

They write down their goals and break them into tiny bite-sized chunks. They know the importance of doing it step-by-step, little by little, to get to their destination. They have the power of flexibility (No, not the power of elasticity) - but the power to adjust to the circumstances, prepare new goals, and continue pursuing them bit-by-bit. They are master motivators with the discipline to stick to their objectives. They enjoy the journey in the attainment of their goals.

Goal masters know their limits. They know that if their goals are irrational, they'll get results that will further prevent them from attaining their objectives. For example, if they set a goal to make a million dollars in a month (unless they are one of those financial geniuses), their subconscious will command them to sacrifice sleep, ignore stress, work endlessly, etc. And when they actually do what their subconscious minds tell them, they'll fail, get frustrated, and give up, thinking that nothing works no matter how hard they try.

Therefore, goal masters set their goals to achievable mode. Their goals can be difficult to achieve, but they make sure they are possible to attain. Instead of the above scenario, they set something like earning $20,000 a month. After they achieve that feat, they set a higher goal of say, $40,000 a month. They know the value of patience and working systematically.

3) HOCUS FOCUS!

These magicians can tackle any task at lightning-fast speeds and with laser-like accuracy.

Success Secret:

They focus their energies on one thing at a time, and give it all they got. All their attentions are concentrated on the particular task at hand. They are able to endure and withstand the outside distractions because they have developed the discipline, will power, and determination to continue pushing until their purpose has been accomplished.

4) TIME COMMANDERS!

These superheroes are able to make time submit to their will. They have the power to summon all the time in the world to do whatever they please.

Success Secret:

They are extremely organized in everything that they do.

They put labels on bottles, place similar files on one folder, and prepare in advance a list of things they have to do for the next day.

They can also use their minds to organize things they have to remember. Studies have shown that people could only retain information that fit between 5 to 9 categories at a time. This is the 7+-2 rule of Neurolinguistic Programming.

Time commanders are aware of this rule; hence, they have devised a strategy known as "categorization." If they have many things to do, they group related stuffs together. They combine activities such as reading books, listening to educational tapes, and watching training videos into a category such as "Education." They group swimming, playing basketball, and paying fees for the gym in a category called "Fitness." They do this for all their other tasks.

Their greatest strategy is known as "delegation." They know the incomparable power of leverage. They delegate trivial and repetitive tasks to other people who can do them satisfactorily, so they can concentrate on becoming more productive with their most valued possession - Time.

5) VISUALIZERS!

The Visualizers can bring into reality anything that their powerful minds can conceive.

Success Secret:

Everyday, they keenly visualize what they want to become or what they want to achieve. They envisage the event so clearly, that they can actually feel and experience the happiness, excitement, and other strong emotions accompanied by their visualization.

The Universe interprets the pictures unleashed by their subconscious minds and transforms them to reality.

6) AFFIRMATIONARIES!

These superheroes use the power of words to get anything they like and be anything they want to be.

Success Secret:

They loudly chant the mantras of success (known as affirmations) everyday with passion and the belief that they are already getting and experiencing what they are chanting. They don't say, " I will be a great doctor" or whatever they want to be. They say, "I am the greatest doctor in the world." And they believe it with all their hearts; that's why they succeed.

7) ABUNDANCE ATTRACTORS!

They attract fortunes, luck, blessings, or the so-called good things in life.

Success Secret:

They cut off any negative thoughts or problems from their minds, and count their blessings. They thank God/the Universe/people around them for all the wonderful things they're receiving, have received, and will be receiving.

By doing this, they are acknowledging that they are indeed blessed and flowing with abundance. And by showing gratitude and giving thanks, they are befriending the Universe to give them more.

They give generously .If they want more money, they give money to those who need them more. If they want to have lots of friends, they become trusted friends to everyone they meet.

But they do not expect anything in return. They give because they want to and because it makes them happy, not because they have a hidden agenda in mind.

They also know how to receive gratefully, aside from being great givers.

If someone compliments them, they don't say, "No, I'm not that good."
Instead, they say, "Thank you." By being grateful and appreciative to
those who have given something to them, they are attracting more blessings and abundance into their lives.

8) ATTITUDE SHIFTERS!

They remain positive and composed despite all obstacles and challenges.

Success Secret:

They never allow any negative thought to enter their minds. Whenever something negative tries to evade their minds, they just quickly shift their thoughts to something positive.

And the most powerful of them all...

9) YOU!

You have the combined powers of all of the above superheroes and can do anything!

Success Secret:

As long as you apply the success secrets above, you are invincible and unstoppable in anything that you do.

Pumping Up Your Nursing Self-Discipline Muscle by Flexing Your Will (and Won't) Power

Like an athlete in training for a major competition, it took several long years of study, self-discipline and financial sacrifice to train to be RN. In order to study and pass your nursing exams, you made many disciplined decisions to dedicate your time, money and effort in order to achieve this goal. And now that you've achieved your admirable objective, do you find that you're still showing that same steely resolve and fierce willpower in your job?

Pumping up your "willpower muscle" in your day-to-day career can mean a variety of things: Keeping timeliness a priority; making follow-through a must (not a maybe); giving co-workers extra help and effort in a needed area, as well as many other will-powered efforts. And sometimes willpower even means flexing your "won't power" brawn - using self-restraint, like saying "no thanks" to idle gossip and water cooler-rumors.

"Willpower can be defined as initiating activity, or the ability to do things that are difficult or frustrating. Won't power is the ability to not initiate activity that you wish to do," explained Angela Duckworth, doctoral candidate at the University of Pennsylvania and advanced graduate student of nationally recognized "Authentic Happiness" guru Marty Seligman. "Everyone has an intuitive sense of whether or not a person has self-discipline. People can be disciplined about, say, working hard, but find themselves unable to resist other temptations, like procrastination, drinking, gambling and smoking."

So ask yourself: "Do the goals that you currently have require "willpower" or "won't power?"

Self-Control as Child's Play

It's a scientific fact, self-control can be measured. And it seems that this attribute can show up early in life, sometimes as young as four years of age.

Case in point: Self-control (or self-discipline, self-regulation) can be defined as the ability to delay impulse in the service of a goal (a conquest of the reasoning brain over the impulsive one; a sign of emotional intelligence). The importance of this trait to success was shown in an experiment begun in the 1960s by psychologist Walter Mischel at a preschool on the Stanford University campus.

Mischel told a room of preschoolers that they could have a single marshmallow treat right now. However, if they would wait while the experimenter ran an errand, they would be rewarded with two marshmallows. Some preschoolers grabbed the marshmallow immediately, yet others were able to wait (for what must have seemed an endless) 20 minutes. To sustain themselves in their struggle for self-restraint, some covered their eyes (so they wouldn't see the temptation), others rested their heads on their arms, talked to themselves, sang, and some even tried to sleep. These determined kids got the two-marshmallow reward.

The interesting part of this experiment came in the follow-up studies. The children who as four-year-olds had been able to wait for the two marshmallows were, as adolescents, still able to delay gratification in pursuing their goals. They were more socially competent and self-assertive, and better able to cope with life's frustrations. Conversely, the kids who grabbed the one marshmallow were, as adolescents, more likely to be stubborn, indecisive and stressed.

In general, though, infants and toddlers are not good at controlling themselves and that the part of the brain that is implicated in self-control does not really fully mature in people until the early 20s, Duckworth explained.

Muscle Willpower: A Limited resource

In the simplest of terms, self-control can be viewed as a muscle. Roy F. Baumeister, Ph.D., a professor at Case Western Reserve University, explained that, like a muscle, if you try to constantly (and without respite), exert your self-control, it won't work. It will wear itself out. In other words, you will fatigue the self-control muscle by over-using it. His recommendation is to exert, and then rest, and then exert, and then rest - in this way you may be able to become more self-disciplined by "growing" your strength.

"From a practical point of view, you can view the model of self-control as a limited resource," Duckworth said, "If you're a nurse in a stressful environment, doing things (both emotionally and physically) that you don't want to, well, after a long 10-hour shift, like any muscle that gets worn-out, you're more likely to break a self-control mechanism - yell at your spouse, break your diet, and so on. Think about it: Most people don't break their diet and raid the refrigerator at 10 a.m. in the morning. This usually happens at the end the day when their 'willpower muscle' is much weaker."

A great way to refill your "willpower reservoir" when the tank is running on empty is to catch a nap, listen to a joke, get a hug, watch a funny movie, etc. But there are times when relaxation, sleep, a change in scheduling or a "time out" is not possible. In these times, it may be viable to - rather than change your behavior - change your environment. "As a nurse, you can make an excuse to get out of a difficult conversation, decreasing your self-control demands. You can then postpone the meeting to a time when your self-control reserves are higher... If you're at the 'end of your rope,' then don't schedule an emotionally difficult session or workout," Duckworth noted.

Implementation Intentions

It is possible to double or even triple your chance of achieving a specific goal if you pre-think (think ahead and indicate) how you are going to execute the goal. Peter Gollwitzer, Ph.D, does this by having people use specific how, where, when, what objectives, such as: "If _________ happens, then I will do _______________." Now name five things that you need to do: "When it is ____________ I will do _________________."

Gollwitzer has people delegate the initiation of goal-directed behavior to environmental stimuli by forming so-called implementation intentions. Again, he uses the: "If situation x is encountered, I will perform behavior y" theory. He has observed that forming implementation intentions helps in detecting, attending to, and recalling the critical situation. Moreover, in the presence of the critical situation the initiation of the specified goal-directed behavior is immediate, efficient, and does not need a conscious intent.
Forming implementation intentions can be used as an effective self-regulatory tool when it comes to resisting temptations, avoiding to stereotype members of an out-group, blocking unwanted goal pursuits and more. Plus, action control via implementation intentions seems to save a person's self-regulatory resources.

Nine Steps to Develop More Self-Control

According to coping.org (www.coping.org), an onsite manual for coping with a variety of life's stressors (authored by: James J. Messina, Ph.D., & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D.), there are nine steps to take in assessing, managing and developing your self-control muscle:

(1). First, you need to identify the areas of your life you need to gain more self-control: In your personal life? (balanced diet, love of self, self-esteem, compulsive and/or addictive behaviors [such as eating, shopping, cleaning, alcohol, drugs, sex, smoking, crisis-oriented activity, excessive activity, body image, etc.].

Or do you need to review your relationships with fixers, helpers, caretakers and enablers? (overdependency, manipulation, helplessness, lack of emotional boundaries, etc.) What about your work life? (time & stress management, workaholism, fear of success, assertiveness, self-image as worker, self recognition of accomplishments, handling perfectionism) And finally, your community life? (need for support system, involvement with others, participation in clubs and activities, handling competition & leadership).

(2.) Once you have identified the various issues in which you need to develop more self-control, then you need to identify which emotions tend to lead you to be more out of control. Use the list of emotions and feelings clusters to identify for each issue out of control, which emotions or feelings tend to exacerbate the loss of control.

Emotions that lead to being out of control

Emotion Feeling cluster

Boredom listless, unoccupied, restless, uneasy, a need for novelty, change, or excitement

Anger rage, hate, cheated, infuriated, spiteful, mean, mad, or envious

Guilt ashamed, miserable, remorse, blamed, distraught, or pain

Depression left out, ugly, empty, powerless, victimized, suffering, useless, low, sad, helpless, discouraged, or troubled

Anxiety overstressed, out of control, nervous, overwhelmed, uneasy, tense, pressured, panicked, troubled, confused, or shocked

Loneliness unwanted, unappreciated, left out, ignored, unloved, alone, hurt, neglected, ugly, or rejected

Fear afraid, tense, anxious, nervous, weak, worried, skeptical, frightened, threatened, panicked

Excitability eager, driven, energetic, capable, turned on, enthusiastic, motivated, or clever

Comfort proud, refreshed, appreciated, satisfied, accomplished, useful, respected, content, confident, full, calm, or relaxed

Happiness good, nice, glad, loved, pleased, wanted, wonderful, delighted, or beautiful
(Courtesy of coping.org)

(3.) Once you have identified what feelings and emotions tend to exacerbate your loss of control, next identify what irrational beliefs lead to increased loss of control in each of these issues.

(4.) Then you need to identify new, rational, reality-based, healthy thinking, which will lead to your gaining control over these issues. Some self-affirmations are: "I am capable of controlling myself," and: "I will take control of my behaviors," and: "Changing old behaviors takes effort, time, and a motivation to change and I am willing to give all three of these to gain control of my life," and: "I am a capable, lovable person who deserves to let go of the uncontrolled ways of my past so that I can grow, flourish, and be successful in my attempts to gain control in my life," and finally: "I will make time for the work to develop my self-control."

(5.) Once you have identified healthy self-talk, then you need to identify positive actions or behaviors that will assist you to develop self-control in your life. Such behaviors or actions are: stress reduction, improved time management planning and scheduling, an exercise program five to seven times a week, a balanced diet, altering relationships with people, places and things, keeping a personal journal, changing patterns/routines of daily life, avoid settings that arouse negative emotions, and watch out for HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) situations which could lead to a relapse of out-of-control behaviors.

(6.) Once you have identified the set of healthy actions that assist the development of self-control, develop a plan of action for each issue.

(7.) Once your plans of action are developed, implement them one at a time, taking one issue at a time to get under control. To decide which issues to take first, prioritize the issues.

(8.) Once you have prioritized the issues to be worked on, begin to implement the plans of action to get them under your control.

(9.) If after a time you find that you are still out of control, then return to first step and begin again.

In the end, with time, effort and regular "exert-and-relax" muscle-toning workouts, your willpower and won't power strength can be in powerfully pumped-up shape!

Susanne Gaddis, PhD, known as the Communications Doctor, is an acknowledged communications expert who has been speaking and teaching the art of effective and positive communication through workshops, seminars, keynote presentations, and career saving executive coaching across the United States since 1989.

5 Good Questions About Self Improvement

What is self improvement?

Self improvement is a choice, and we choose to change ourselves from within. Self improvement is to become responsible of what we do, what we have and who we are. Self improvement helps us to build our self esteem, our values and it takes discipline. Self improvement is to take the needed power and control into your own hands to create the future you want. Self improvement is a battle, a continuous struggle to transcend our weaknesses and limitations.It starts with knowing ourselves and having an aspiration of having a better life. On the battle field we need to carry appropriate luggage and armor. Choose a bullet-proof armor and this is self change. Self change is about changing our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking. Self improvement is improvement of one's mind, character and health. Self improvement is not a rigid science. Many ingredients can be blended to produce a variety of self improvement dishes. Some random occurrences coming along the course of our life such as painful life (loss of job, loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a natural disaster destroying all your possessions) or life threatening illness improves ourselves. Self improvement is not just improving your mindset. It also involves improving your body and physical state. The mind and body are intertwined and both affect each other. Therefore, self improvement ideas should focus on both aspects.

Who needs self improvement?

Everybody needs self improvement. Every person aspires to have a better, successful and fulfilled life. Self improvement is one of the tools that attains this goal. Every person is unique. Each individual has thousands of facets of his life that could or need to be improved.

What are the results of self improvement?

The results of self improvement is inner stability, personal development, self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem. Knowing that knowledge is power leads people today to increase, in secret their abilities, like acquiring better conversational skills, to get promotion. Each individual must take the reins of his future and control his destiny. Self improvement helps people to achieve his goal or accomplish his vision.

What does require self improvement?

It requires perseverance, patience, practice, thirst of knowledge and commitment. Just knowing what to do by reading books or attending seminar or listening to tapes will not give any results unless you choose to practice what you learn. Starting to buy or to subscribe to any self improvement program or to talk or to articulate what we should do is just the beginning but the main thing and the real test for us is to commit ourselves to practice what we preach or read.

What are the kinds of self improvement programs?

Self improvement involved many aspects of our life such as:

- how to boost your self confidence?
- how to get rid of depression?
- how to realize our goals?
- how to get a happy marriage?
- how to lose weight?
- how to sleep better?
- how to improve memory?
- how to get wealthy?
- how to manage people?
- how to control anxiety attack?
- how to speak in public?
- how to be a leader?
- how to live longer?
- how to overcome fear?
- how to get charisma?
- how to eliminate bad habits?
- how to exploit your brain's unlimited power?
- how to find true happiness?
- how to organize time and space?

Know Thyself - Self Awareness as the Key to Enlightened Leadership

You cannot lead anyone or anything if you cannot lead yourself. Effective leadership of self depends on a high degree of self-awareness founded on honesty and introspection. As individuals advance in their careers they are exposed to new challenges and the opportunity to make decisions with the benefit of wisdom gained over time. However, this wisdom must be cultivated. It lies within all of us but only surfaces when it is sought. Not only do we as individuals face new challenges as we advance but society throws challenges at us also. Fortune Magazine puts it this way, leading a company today is different from the 1980s and '90s, especially in a global company. It requires a new set of competencies. Bureaucratic structures don't work anymore. You have to take command and control types out of the system. You need to allow and encourage broad-based involvement in the company. Stephen Covey in The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness says, the industrial age was about control, and the information age, or knowledge worker age, is about release.

A logical extension of self-awareness is the style the leader then uses to lead in this changing world. There are many labels to describe leadership styles. Some of these labels are authoritative, participative, charismatic, task-oriented, people-oriented, big-picture focused etc. This is where stereotypes fail us. There is no one single leadership style that is most effective. The most important aspect of style is the ability to adapt it to be of maximum effectiveness. The most successful leaders are able to modulate and moderate their approach.

It is the recognition by the leader of their own style and the situation they are operating in that differentiates average performers from superior leaders. The true student of leadership moves beyond anecdotal stories and experiential development into the academic. By academic I mean they undertake a lifelong study of the art and science of leadership. They seek to learn from others outside their normal frame of reference. This learning may come from talking with others, reading business books, reading academic research or taking higher level classes. They make every effort to have a higher level of self-awareness and to understand the impact they have on others.

Many supervisors today have been exposed, and sometimes subjected to, some type of psychometric assessment. They are known by names such as DISC, Myer-Briggs, etc. These assessments are tools to help people be more effective on the job. They first do this by giving us a better understanding of ourselves. Then we are able to look at how we interact with others. These tools also help us understand others. This mutual understanding is an essential part of high-performing teams. Some assessments measure preference, some measure aptitude, others measure attitude and some measure intelligence. Intellect, as we commonly know it (IQ) and emotional intellect (EQ) are measurable with much being made of EQ lately.

Ultimately, your effectiveness is not solely a factor of what style you employ. It is not based on your natural instincts or on learned traits. Most researchers in organizational development agree on this. David Segal in Military Leadership writes "that the nature and quality of the interaction between the leader and the other group members is a strong determinant of the effectiveness of the group." Despite this assertion, we still want to know what style delivers interactions of the highest nature and quality? Of course, the answer is any style can be effective. The biggest determinant in the quality of the interaction is the authenticity of the leader. Authenticity is about being real, genuine. Genuine people know themselves; they are fully self-aware of their strengths and limitations and recognize they are part of the team. This all leads to a confidence that enables them to walk their talk, to deliver consistent messages and to look people in the eye in a way that engenders loyalty.

One size does not fit all. There is no universal truth when it comes to leadership and there is certainly no universal style that is most effective. Effectiveness stems first from the quality of the relationships between the leader and those they lead. The quality of the relationship has little to do with style and a lot to do with trust and credibility. Still, an awareness of individual style and the willingness to get better at adapting ones style to a given situation are differentiators of the most successful leaders.

Why You're Getting Absolutely Nowhere in Your Self Improvement Path - Part 1

I remember it clearly as if it were yesterday...

It was in the early 2000s, in the month of November, on a sunny afternoon. (I know, how cliche, but it really was sunny that afternoon.)

It was a really strange time of my life because I wasn't working, having left the only "real job" of my adult life almost a year earlier. Well, I was sort of working with some startup that had big dreams, but I wasn't getting paid for it, and frankly, I was just going through the motions with it and with life as a whole. I really had no drive to do anything, no motivation, nothing whatsoever. Of course I would've "liked" to have the symbols of success (nice care, nice pad, money, etc.) if they were bestowed to me by some benevolent "genie", but really, that obviously wasn't happening. Not only did I NOT have the desire or the motivation to pursue these things, but honestly, I didn't think I had the capability of attaining them either if I were to pursue them.

Now, of course I know that the pursuit of material things is a road to nowhere, but really, if I had been pursuing these things, at least I would've been passionate about SOMETHING, and have been moving in SOME direction. In my case, I was just standing still doing nothing.

The thing was, I wasn't lazy, nor was I depressed. I was just simply devoid of any desire for anything in life. I just didn't care. I was bereft of any inspiration to do anything at all.

Was I happy?

Well...would you be if you were living like this? I think we both know the answer.

Deep down I knew there was something wrong considering the fact I hadn't always been like this. The thing was, on the surface I thought that me being devoid of any ambition or any desire was the right, spiritual way to be, but it fought with every nuance of my being on a deeper level, i.e. it sucked to be me.

I think Thoreau coined my condition best: "quiet desperation."

So, there I was, on this particular November afternoon, stopping in front of a bookstore that had a table display of books, when one in particular piqued my curiosity due to the title, so I picked it up in order to check it out.

I glance through the book and its subject matter seemed interesting enough, but I didn't feel a need to buy it. However, over the next few days, for some reason, my mind kept on going back to that book, though I didn't even remember the name, so the next time I passed by the bookstore, I bought the book.

And you know what? The book changed my life...

The name? "Think and Grow Rich," by Napoleon Hill, a book about the principles of success. Well actually, it was another version of the book, "Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice" by Dennis Kimbro, but reading that prompted me to possessedly go and buy the original version by Napoleon Hill. Needless to say, these two books single handedly gave me back something I hadn't felt in several years: my inspiration in life to be successful and do something great on this earth.

In addition to re-kindling my desire to be successful, after reading these books over and over, and over again, I realized something else: I had a pitifully LOW self-esteem.

Low self esteem is funny, because most people who have it don't know they have it and would never admit to it. If someone who was able to notice low self esteem in another person and pointed it out to him, he (or she) would either deny it or get very defensive. This is because people are very good at hiding their low self esteem from themselves through innumerable avenues, some of which include, erecting walls of materialism, bravado, or by simply just being an out and out asshole to the entire world.

I was no different.

It was when I learned this that I can say that I officially started my path of "self improvement" and self discovery. (There's a reason why I put "self improvement" in quotes, stay tuned). I hit the ground running and threw myself into the whole process headfirst. My burning desire was to become a better person, raise my self esteem, and become a confident person that was secure with himself.

The Desert Years

Now, this is where I wish I could tell my happy ending, where I acquire unstoppable confidence, strike it filthy rich a few years later and fly off in my pink unicorn to my mansion on top of a hill at the end of the rainbow, where I sip glasses of Cristal and party nightly with the likes of Diddy and Naomi Campbell.

Nope. Definitely not with me.

Instead, I entered into another "desert" period in my life that lasted five years. It was a period where I experienced very little if any growth whatsoever. Instead I went around in circles, reading book, after book after book, going to different seminars, visiting a hypnotist, talking to coaches, listening to CD after CD, etc, all in the hopes of finding that magic pill, that one marvelous distinction that would enable me to finally let go of my negative beliefs, show me how to get over the past, and show me how to be a better person.

I remember buying book after book, hoping that each book would be "the one" that would give me that magical insight that would change my life. I would read each book accompanied with a "trusty" highlighter pen, highlighting everything I found insightful in the book, hoping that somehow these words would seep into my consciousness and help change me.

Sadly, that didn't happen. All I'd get was a dry highlighter pen, but no real personal growth. I instead become a walking "self help" encyclopedia, full of inspirational quotes that made me look all positive and enlightened. I probably was able to recite to you on command, page 73 of every book I read, that's how into "improving myself" I was.

As I read more and more books, I'd feel more "enlightened" and "knowledgeable", but at times, I'd have a somber moment where I'd say to myself, "you have all this knowledge, you've read all these books, but where's the REAL growth?" I'd ponder this briefly and then think, "Oh well, on to the next book!" and sweep the one insight that I TRULY needed to pay attention to under the rug.

I was lost.

I remember taking the Landmark Forum and its follow-up course, "The Advanced Seminar." I thought that now surely this was the place that would make me transform. After all, before I even took these courses I heard of some miraculous stories of the breakthroughs and transformations people received. As a matter of fact, upon taking these two courses. I did receive some tremendous insights, and I did see some people make some incredible remarkable change, but at the end of the day, I was thinking, "how 'bout me?"

I had more knowledge, more insight, but I still felt TERRIBLY lacking.

"Why can't I change?"

"When am I going to get rid of this horrible feeling of inadequacy I have?"

I would ask these questions to myself over and over again, after the next, best self-help tool I discovered out there that I hoped would empower me to become a better person wound up getting me nowhere. I went to a hypnotist, hoping she would be able to hypnotize me to be a confident person....that didn't' work. In fact in retrospect, I just think she was a sucky hypnotist (no offense to her). The only "improvement" I got from her was a lesson of not to EVER waste my money or time with her again.

I talked to several coaches...nothing. In fact, one got so frustrated with me he almost kicked me out of his coaching group.

It's funny, because during this period, I remember talking to a guy in my gym who I have to say, was a complete mess. He would complain to me over and over again about his girlfriend and how he didn't trust her. The obvious solution to his "problem" that I would explain to him was to leave her, but he'd have a barrel of excuses of why he couldn't do that. Yet, what surprised me was that he was an avid reader of self-help books, just like me, having ready many of the ones I had. He in fact bragged that he had a whole suitcase full of these books. I thought to myself in utter disgust, "Is this guy serious? Why is this guy such a debacle if he is supposed to have read all these books?"

The truth of the matter was that I really was no different myself. The reason why I was able to see that this guy was a debacle was because I was only seeing a reflection of myself in him. I, despite having read all these books was quite a debacle myself. I was pointing at him, but four fingers were pointing right back at me. I just didn't see it.

I really, really, really wanted to change. The coaches at the seminars I attended were able to sense my desperation. I had all this negative self-talk going on inside my head, and I wanted to get rid of it. I had this deep feeling of inadequacy, and I wanted get rid of that. I lacked confidence, and I wanted to gain it. I felt as if I had been a horrible, inconsiderate, insensitive bastard in the past, and I wanted to become a good person that people would be able to look up to. I wanted to learn how to stop clinging to my past and be able to let go.

What was frustrating was that during this period, I had read and heard stories about people who credited a certain book, seminar or encounter with someone for giving them some insight that changed the entire way they perceived themselves and the world. They would note that it was this "shift" in perception they received that enabled them to transform from insecure, "bad", unsuccessful people to happy, confident and successful.

I was looking for something that would do similar for me and fix all these "horrible" things I had. Yet, in all my five years of "self improvement", the only major change that had come in me was after I first read "Think and Grow Rich," which I wouldn't even count because it was what first got me on my path. So in actuality, in five years, I had really gotten nowhere.

Oddly enough, I was somehow able to fool myself that I was "changing" because I was reading all these books and gaining all these "wonderful" insights.

Yet funny how these "insights" brought absolutely no real improvement to the quality of my life, nor did they improve my self esteem in any way. I was the same old me who started the journey five years earlier covered with a thin veneer of knowledge from a bunch of self-help books and quotes spouted by famous people.

I was a mess.

I liken this period of my life to the Biblical story of the Israelites wandering the wilderness for forty years without entering the "Promised Land." They just tread the same ground over and over and over again for forty years.

I too was in the wilderness because I was in a place that was bearing no type of fruit. I just thank God it was five years, not forty.

Something had to give.

My "Deliverance"

So, 2005 comes along.

In the very beginning of this year, two significant things happen.

The first thing was when a cousin of mine came to my house for the first time and stayed for a few days. Upon looking at my bookshelf and seeing all these self help books, he comes to me and asks me, "Why are you looking for something you already have?"

That question struck me because it was told to me several years before. I didn't get it when it was first told to me, and I didn't get it when my cousin said it. However, now, these words struck me in a different way. I figured that since I was hearing these words for a second time, there must have been a message in there for me. I started to let them marinate in my spirit so I could find learn the message that they carried.

The second event was that I could sense that God was speaking to my heart trying to tell me something.

That "something" was Him telling me not to hang out with my childhood friends for the whole of 2005.

See, these childhood friends of mine have been my "family" for almost my entire life. They had also been a foundation of security for me most of my life, because I felt that no matter what I went through socially, they would always be there. The insight that God was giving me was that by not hanging out with them for an entire year, I will start to develop that foundation within myself. Also, being absent of their "influence" will help me start to see an aspect of myself that I previously wasn't aware of.

That's similar to the scenario of a tree bent in a certain way would grow in a certain way, however, if you unbend it, it would grow in a different direction.

This was a PROFOUND insight that I definitely could not have thought of on my own. It was completely out of the box of my reality.

Me, looking desperately for answers, saw no choice but to listen.

So to my childhood friends who are reading this, if you've been wondering why I wasn't around for all of '05 and making "excuses" why I couldn't hang out, (if you remember or even care), this was the reason. It was all for self discovery purposes, nothing personal. You guys may find it "weird", but I've come to accept the fact that I'm just not a normal person. Also, if you do find it weird, I retort with my oft repeated phrase that you know very well, "your opinion means absolutely nothing to me."

Either way, I digress.

So, getting back to 2005, it was a year like every other of the previous four years: going to seminars, reading book after book, having all these wonderful insights making me believe that I was enlightened, all coupled with the frustration of being in my own way. I think you get the picture.

However, come the last two months of that year, November and December, I received two MAJOR insights, one insight for each month, that unlike all the countless other "insights" I received, were the ones that were to lead me out of the wilderness.

The first one I'm not going to get into, as it I another topic for another blog. Also, it really didn't have an immediate effect on my life as did the second, which began to change things immediately.

The second insight is the topic of this blog.

It was late in December, a couple of days after Christmas. I was talking to my mom in her room while she was watching TV. In the conversation, she mentions to me that she had a deep conversation with my brother and the subject was yours truly.

She mentioned that my brother was complaining, added to the complaint of my other siblings that I was emotionally unavailable and even though he tried to communicate with me on a deeper level, I wouldn't let him in and kept him at arm length.

The news of this didn't shock me because my siblings had complained about this before. I knew that ever since my childhood that I had always been emotionally distant from my siblings and never really attempted to foster a close relationship with any of them. As I had "matured", I knew this wasn't a good thing, and I felt that by becoming a better person through my "self improvement", this would somehow remedy itself.

Upon hearing this, I told my mom that I was trying to change, and that I had been reading a lot of self improvement books and going to seminars for a number of years, and the insights I had received had helped me to grow.

I then asked her a crucial question, "Haven't you noticed any change in me?"

To this she responded that she didn't see too much of me because she left for work before me and I usually returned home from work late, and at that time she was already in bed, so she really couldn't tell if I had many any change at all.

All of sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been doing this whole self improvement "thing" to please my mother.

Why does that insight even matter?

Well let me take you back a few years to my childhood. When I was growing up, my father was the strict disciplinarian in the house, and coupled with that, he wasn't always an easy person to deal with. From a young age, he came down very hard on me and the older of my two sisters, and so, we were dependent on our mother for refuge.

Because of all this, it can be easy to see how my father became the "bad guy" and my mother was the "good guy". My father was the one associated with having a bad temper, being impatient, angry, etc, and my mother was associated with being loving, caring, patient, nurturing, etc. Thus, compared to our younger two siblings, it became important for me and the older of my two sisters to stay on our mother's "good side" because if we didn't, we would be at the mercy to the whims of our father.

Furthermore, as a child, I had a very bad temper, and was prone to throwing huge temper tantrums. When I would do this, my mom would say to me disapprovingly, "You're just like your father."

Well, of course, it sucked to hear that, because I didn't want to be like my father, I wanted to be like my mother. My mom knew this, and over the years, she would play the manipulation game whenever she and I would have a disagreement by hanging over my head the comment, "You're just like HIM."

This had the effect of immediately putting me on the defensive or shutting me up. Either way, it gave my mom a "power" over me. It made me want to be more like her, and since she became the "measuring stick" of who to be like in my house, it also made me believe all the other negative labels she had placed on me.

Thus, over the years, I would develop this persistent fear that I was going to turn out just like my father. One of the main reasons for embarking on the path of self improvement was to "finally address" this issue of me being this horrible person in the past and become a person who my mother could look at proudly and say, "Wow, you're totally different from your father. You're more like me."

This was the reason why I had gotten absolutely nowhere in five years of "self improvement." I had talked a big game of wanting to become a better, more positive person, improve my self esteem, etc, but in actuality all I wanted was approval from my mother.

I remember watching those Warner Brothers or Hanna Barbera cartoons as a little kid where some cat (Tom or Sylvester) would be trying to chase a little bird to eat, but their efforts were always thwarted by the big mother hen or some other guardian that watched over the little chick. So, to fool whoever was protecting the chick, the cat would disguise himself as a bird. However, the plan would always fail because although the cat was dressed as a bird, in one way or another, his nature of being a cat would always rise to the surface (e.g. trying to eat the little chick.)

This was similar to my quest for self improvement. On the surface, I was saying I wanted to become a better person, improve my self esteem, etc, but below that something else was going on.

You see, when I made the decision of improving myself, I was riddled with guilt for who I was up until that point for not naturally being able to display the "characteristics" of my mother. I felt guilty for being such a rude, inconsiderate, selfish, impatient bastard in my past, and because I felt I really couldn't be trusted with my own self improvement, I looked to others who accused me of these things in the past, as well as my mom as indicators of whether I was changing or not. Thus, the more pleasing I was to others, the happier I was because it meant I was changing. However, if I did something to step on another person's toes, I would be depressed that I was failing in my quest to become a better person.

To add to that, I also tried to be overly pleasing to women, which meant walking on egg shells around them because afraid to say the wrong thing, seeking their approval, and putting up with disrespect that I had no business putting up with. I figured by gaining the approval of women, it would mean that I was different from my father, which would gain me the prize of my mother's approval.

In any case, this all gave me a resentment towards women and my mother, because I gave them power over me to control my mental well being. What made me more resentful was that I wasn't getting their approval back in return.

All who are reading this may be able to take a "wild guess" as to how my dating life was.

If a person were to take a good look at my quest for self improvement, they would see me constantly beating myself for not being a good person, me beating myself up for days on end for lapsing into the "old me", me trying to acquire "knowledge" so as to impress people into believing I was a "good person", me being so stiff and stifled because I couldn't trust myself to be "free" because I might mess up, me being terrified of receiving someone's disapproval because then it meant that I really hadn't changed.

My goodness, it's a miracle that I didn't leap from a window or go postal.

I remember reading a quote during my years in the wilderness that went something like this (I don't remember it verbatim), "Change produced by hate can never produce love."

Oh yes, I definitely hated myself.

Now, let me ask you, does all this sound like self improvement to you?

Now you can see why I put "self improvement" in quotes. Clearly, I wasn't improving myself. All I was doing was seeking an affirmation that I wasn't a bad person while beating myself up along the way.

The thing was, I really didn't know I was doing all this.

It was as if I were setting out from a journey to Chicago from New York with a map of Detroit, complaining the whole time why I wasn't getting any closer to Chicago or why where I was winding up didn't resemble Chicago at all.

That revealing conversation with my mom made me realize I was looking at the wrong map.....DOH!

At least now with the right map, I could get an inkling of where I needed to go.

I would also like to add that had I not followed Divine guidance and taken time away from my friends, I probably wouldn't have gotten this revelation. Taking time away from the people that I had been around all my life allowed me to gain a different perspective of myself that made it ripe for me to receive the breakthrough I did.

Obedience to Divine guidance pays!

When I got this breakthrough, I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief because a big burden was lifted off my back. I now was able to see that I had a lot of guilt in being a man instilled in me by society, my family and the Church, and I read some very interesting books that helped strip away a lot of that guilt. I also now began the painstaking process of untangling myself from approval seeking (which I might add is still going on up till now).

I also cut down considerably on the amount of self improvement books I read. The urgent need that I had once felt to read every self improvement book in sight left me.

Finally, the REAL self improvement process had begun. It was as if God had said to me, "Now you're ready for Me to deal with you." He now was in the driver's seat.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I still don't have the pink unicorn or the mansion on the hill. In fact, if you might be thinking that my life got any "easier", I'm here to tell you that it didn't. Straight from the desert, I had a brief respite before I was led into "purgatory", (though it still felt like hell). This period lasted for another three and a half years where my life actually got harder. However, this served to be a cleansing period where, unlike the previous five years, I experienced a lot of growth, though I must admit, I didn't care too much for many of the experiences I had that forced me to grow.

Camps & Training Provide Self-Improvement & Career Advancement

Camps and training aim to develop skills and knowledge for both self-improvement and career advancement. These involve activities which can be very physical or highly intellectual. Camps and training use active interaction among its participants whether to share experiences and expertise or to compete with each other. Very young kids to grandparents can engage in activities and join camps and training during summertime or holidays. Examples of these include summer camps, golf lessons, internships, swimming lessons, and career counseling, among many others.

Camps maybe defined according to their different types which include:

outdoor accommodation and recreation - campsites or campgrounds, resources camps, summer camps and cottages gatherings of people - camp meetings, temporary settlement areas of imprisonment - concentration camps, labor camps, refugee camps

However, the most popular especially for the kids and youth during summer or breaks are traditional camps which include:

Sports camps - basketball, swimming, hunting, surfing, wrestling, baseball, football, martial arts, golf, diving Academic camps & programs - science, mathematics, ESL, writing, psychology, robotics, debate, pre-college Adventure camps - rafting, canoeing, kayaking, rock climbing, scuba diving Arts camps - acting, dance, music, performing arts, animation, art, photography Teen programs & teen tours - adventure, community service, internships, college prep Special interest camps - chess, yoga, modeling, culture, cooking, circus, sewing, etiquette, construction Religious camps - Baptist, Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Lutheran Special needs camps - autism, physical disabilities, HIV & AIDS, learning disabilities & ADHD, speech impaired, epilepsy, social skills Military camps Family camps

Training, on the other hand, may be incorporated with camps but concentrate more on the acquisition of knowledge, skills and competencies needed for self-development as well as career promotion. It has specific goals of improving capabilities, capacities and performances, which are different from camps that provide exercises more for the fun of it. Examples of training include apprenticeship or on-the-job training.

There are different kinds of training, and these include:

Physical training Religion and spirituality Practice Trainer Training and development

Training is provided mostly for young adults and professionals who are about to enter a new career, advancement or for self-development. There are different types of training and educational seminars available and you can choose from instructor-led training, courseware, e-learning, home study and self-paced learning resources on the following categories:

Accounting & finance Art Automation Automotive Business & management skills Computer Construction Customer service Electrical Engineering Food, restaurants & hotels Health, fitness & wellness Human resources Insurance Information technology Journalism Language skills Mechanical Medical Music Personal growth & self help such as anger management Real estate Workplace skills

Using Hypnosis For Self Help and Improvement

Many years ago I was introduced to hypnosis and hypnotherapy through a college classmate that was a professional hypnotherapist. Over the years I've used hypnosis and hypnotherapy to help myself and thousands of other people make significant positive changes in our lives.

Hypnosis isn't magic. In fact there's really nothing too mysterious about it at all. Hypnosis is a method of self help that has been used for thousands of years and by millions of people. Simply put, hypnosis is a method you can use to alter your thoughts and, as a result, your behaviors.

Hypnosis doesn't discriminate, meaning anyone can use it. Its benefits are available to anyone of any ethnic or religious background. It can be used by people of all ages and by both sexes. From stress relief to weight loss, there are self improvement hypnosis programs for you.

The great thing about using hypnosis as a self help program is that it's a do it to your self project. For many things you don't need a trained professional, but you use the same techniques that a hypnotherapist would.

Using hypnosis as a self help method can be contrary to much of our modern philosophy. Today it seems that many people want the "quick fix", so they take the latest pharmaceuticals for whatever ails them. While popping pills can be an effective short term solution, unless you have an infection, they do nothing for most of the underlying causes of stress or fitness or whatever you are trying to change. In fact, most pharmaceuticals, if taken for long periods of time, have been proven to be extremely harmful. So, unless you have a specific medical condition that necessitates you using drugs, its recommend you stay away from them.

When it comes to self improvement there are a couple of prerequisites for hypnosis or hypnotherapy to be effective. The first is you have to be open-minded that hypnosis is a useful self help treatment. Of course if you're not open minded you probably won't even try hypnosis to begin with.

The second is that you have to believe that it will work or at least suspend your disbelief that it won't work. Studies have actually found that any treatment for self improvement, hypnosis, drugs or whatever work best if you believe in them. The more you believe in the ability of hypnotherapy to help you, the higher your chances of success. If you think its all fluff then it is, and you're just wasting your time. That's because you're programming your mind for failure in advance. If there is any secret to making hypnosis work it's this - you'll get as much out of it as you believe you will.

When using hypnosis for self help, in the beginning it may help for you to have some guidance through the process. One method is using self improvement hypnosis recordings.

If you are using self improvement hypnosis recordings for stress reduction a good strategy is to try to get away from the hustle and bustle of the day so that you can get into a more relaxed state. Many people actually carry their self improvement hypnosis recordings with them as they go about their day. This way when the day does turn chaotic, they can quickly return to a calming state without anyone ever knowing they were treating themselves for stress reduction! Even a short ten or fifteen minute recording can help.

As mentioned before, you want to get rid of your distractions before listening to your self improvement hypnosis recordings because they'll just add to your stress. Finding a quiet place will allow you to focus on the techniques in the recording. Turn off your radio, your television, and especially your cell phone while you're conducting your self improvement hypnosis. Dedicate this time entirely to your well-being.

Another thing many people use self improvement hypnosis for is weight control. If you're using self improvement hypnosis recordings as part of your weight loss program a good time to use them is when you feel weakness in your resolve to exercise or eat more healthily. They are an excellent method of adding to your resolve of staying on your healthier eating and exercise schedule.

In order for your self improvement hypnosis to work, allow yourself to focus for a minimum of 15 minutes. Although many people find it hard to devote a single second to their own needs, if you want to change your thoughts, you have to work on it just as you would any other learning experience. So commit to dedicating this time to learning how to best use your self improvement hypnosis.

If you're not using a recording while you're in this relaxed state, you can give yourself suggestions about how you want to behave and then use positive visualization to "see" your life as you want it to be. For example, visualize yourself in a place so relaxing that there is no stress or if you're trying to become more fit use positive visualization to "see" yourself at the weight and in the shape you want to be.

As you start using hypnosis as a method for self help you'll find that, with practice, your subconscious mind will begin adopting those suggestions. Then, each day, as you use your self improvement hypnosis, they'll be nurtured until they grow large enough to become what's normal for you. Soon, your new behaviors will have become habits and you'll only need to call upon self improvement hypnosis for a refresher every now and then.

If you want to use start using self improvement hypnosis a good place to start is with a qualified hypnotherapist. If you are looking for one in your area shoot me an e-mail, I know some excellent practicing hypnotists around the world. It doesn't matter if you want a weight loss hypnosis program, stress reduction or a time proven method to quit smoking, a self improvement hypnosis program can quickly help you make life altering changes in your life.

5 More Traits Shared by Self-Made Millionaires

Welcome to Part Two of the top ten characteristics of self-made millionaires. This article will complete the list and your picture of what you need to do to achieve wealth and prosperity in your life. As you now know from the first article in this series, these secrets apply not only to building financial success, but also to building healthy relationships and to your own self-improvement. As I finalize this list, I recommend following all of the action steps listed from these two articles. Once employed and made habitual, you will undoubtedly recognize significant changes in yourself and in the world around you.

#1) SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES

As you have planned, organized and prepared for opportunities in life, you must then be ready to take the leap once they present themselves. There are no guarantees of success and successful people know this, plan for the contingencies and are prepared. Many people can train for months or years for a certain day to come and then become sometimes paralyzed by the emotion that comes when the opportunity is at hand.

Having the emotion is not the challenge. We all feel emotions of anxiety, fear, doubt and excitement. What sets the truly successful people apart in this category is they, again, are ready for the emotions and know how to process them so they do not interfere with the ultimate objective.

ACTION STEP: Visualize your day when the opportunity comes, whether it be a job, a relationship, a task, and imagine the moment. Take a piece of paper and write down the emotions you believe you will feel at the instant the opportunity arises. What emotions will interfere with your seizing the opportunity? Be honest and thoughtful in your response. Second, write down situations where emotions have interfered with you taking a chance. Third, write down methods of coping with these emotions when they arise again and PRACTICE using the skills as though the opportunity is now. You must practice using the skill so you are proficient with them when the opportunity comes.

#2) BE UNIQUE AND SERVE OTHERS

This trait ties into one from the prior article about having expert knowledge. Highly successful people find a way to set themselves apart from the crowd. They may have knowledge, a skill, or a product that allows them to stand out, and they understand one very important fact. People always want the very best and are willing to pay for it.

Think about someone famous, such as Donald Trump. His name is associated with wealth, fame and high quality. He owns casinos and apartment buildings, and people know they are getting his best when they step into his properties. This is attractive and alluring to people. At some subconscious level we want the best. The best food, clothes, car, home, vacation spot, or whatever we desire. People seek out the best in those areas and are willing to pay for high quality.

You must develop a service that is unique and offer it to others. Self-made millionaires know you must first serve others and then you will be rewarded in return. This trait is not about greed. Find a unique and creative way to solve a problem or provide a service. Develop it and offer it to others. You will then attract attention and be sought out for your service.

ACTION STEP: Search on the Internet for groups in your area, such as BNI or Meet up groups. If you do not have a unique idea or service, go to an entrepreneurial meeting and listen to what others are doing. Surrounding yourself with creative people will stir creativity inside you. If you have an idea, take it to a meeting and begin advertising it to others as a service. You must share it with others so they can realize the value you are providing.

#3) UNDERPROMISE AND OVERDELIVER

This trait of wealthy people is of paramount importance. In relationships or jobs of any sort, you must always be willing to do more than is asked of you. This is the best way out of any undesirable situation.

The psychological default response of most people when in some uncomfortable situation is to do less then they are required. Think of a job you dislike. You will probably show up with a somewhat negative attitude, dread the obligations you must fulfill and always have an eye on the clock for the day's end. In worse situations, you may worry about even leaving your office for fear of encountering a boss or co-worker. You can never do the best possible job if your mind is not focused on that goal.

People who stand out do more than asked, overachieve, and, importantly, do not overpromise. If you are unsure if you can commit to a project, meeting or a relationship request, you must say so. Otherwise, you put yourself in a position to fail by taking on excess responsibility. I am sure you know someone who says, "I'll call you later," then does not call back. Maybe you do that. This is an example of overpromising. The most successful people stand out by doing more than asked in all situations despite their internal emotional states. Do this daily and you will be recognized for overdelivering and opportunities to advance in life will present themselves.

ACTION STEP: Do one thing today that is above and beyond what is expected of you. Get your partner a gift; fulfill an unfinished obligation at work even if it's not yours, or just something as simple as holding the door for a stranger. Overdeliver everyday, even if it is just one thing, and make this a habit. Studies show that to create a habit one must repeat the action daily for three weeks and then it becomes part of our daily routine. This is your challenge.

#4) PERSISTENCE

This is one obvious commonality between many of the most successful and wealthy people around the world. They do not take no for an answer and procrastination is not an option. In essence, they are just as persistent with others as they are with themselves. To hold yourself to the same standard you hold others to is leading by example. This is a characteristic of leadership that many of have difficulty with psychologically.

Going back to the first article on being 'decisive', persistence means taking action now and acting despite uncertainty. You must be ready to deal with the insecurity that comes with uncertainty in order to consistently take action. If you get intimidated or fearful of a specific outcome, you are more likely to manifest that outcome and produce the results you fear.

You now understand how much of this process of achieving wealth is based upon your psychological constructs. Most of the above listed traits, including the last one, are based upon shifting your mindset from its old patterns and developing new habits. Read any book on achieving wealth or success and you will find at least one chapter emphasizing this point: What you think in your mind determines your actions, your emotions and your results.

ACTION STEP: Go to a local bookstore and find their section on business and finance. Look for any book about someone who has created enormous wealth, though I recommend Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill or Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. Read the book or the first chapter if your time is short, and you will see the importance of psychology and persistence in achievement. By the way, you can find the same emphasis in any self-help or interpersonal relationship book.

#5) HAVE FUN

None of the other traits matter if you do not have this one down. You must enjoy your endeavors or you cannot hope to derive success from them. Ask yourself if your situation right now, whether it is at home, work or socially, is fun. Self-made millionaires have a passion for life and if something is not fun for them, they make it that way or move on. They realize life is too short to invest time in any project that is not fulfilling, and since successful people take responsibility for their life, they first work to change it. When enjoyment cannot be created, they recognize this and make a decision to move in another direction. On this new path they create joy and happiness. If you have ever met someone who is truly happy with their profession or passion, then you will not forget them. These people stand out in our minds since so many people are unhappy in their chosen profession or relationship. Remember, however, this was their choice to be happy, as it is yours.

ACTION STEP: Identify the area(s) of your life that are the most unfulfilled. Do not spend time reasoning why this is so. Instead ask yourself what you can do to turn it around. If you realize there is an area that needs improvement, it is your responsibility to change it. It does not matter if co-workers or a partner is involved. You, not them, are in charge of your happiness. Write down 5 ways you can improve upon your unfulfilled area and implement one each day. Repeat this process for 1 month. If you have not seen improvements, you must consider revising your list and/or removing yourself from the situation.

After researching and meeting many successful people, I truly believe they are no different from the majority of people, save for a few keys areas. One of these areas has been touched upon repeatedly above. That area is Psychology. High achieving people do not allow negative input into their minds through news, television or mass media because they realize this shifts their focus off their goals and toward tragedy, violence or pessimism. These influences move their mind away from the objective and this is an unproductive use of their time. Successful people constantly ask themselves this question: Are my actions moving me closer or further away from what I want?

Secondly, successful people are motivated toward achievement to a greater degree than most. It is not enough to psychologically believe one can reach a goal. You must then act on this belief, and continue to do so, thereby making the act habitual. This requires continuous motivation. Think about a project you may have started and did not complete. Why was it not finished? Did the routines of life interfere? Was it procrastination or did you just lose interest in the goal? Whatever the reason, it is probable that your motivation to complete the task was weaker than that which interfered.

Self-made millionaires, and others who have created extreme wealth, constantly motivate themselves, find new ways to do so, and enlist the motivation of others. Leaders are not afraid to admit what they do not know and ask for assistance.

Use These Tips to Build Self Esteem

Building your self esteem is a life long process. There are many factors in life that can affect your self image. It is important to have a healthy self esteem to succeed in all aspects of life. To build self esteem, here is advice you can follow.

Make lists: One of the most effective ways to build self esteem is by making lists that contain positive reinforcement about your sense of self. It is helpful to read them over from time to time to feel better about yourself. Having a journal is helpful for this type of exercise.

What to Make Lists of: Just as important as making lists, is making significant points that will help boost self confidence.

1. Think of several of your strengths such as being personable, reliable, brave, or being creative.

2. List several traits you admire about yourself. Are you a good parent, do you possess spirituality, or do you make a good effort at your job?

3. Think of key achievements in your life such as graduating from high school or college, landing a successful career, or becoming a wonderful homemaker.

4. List several accomplishments completed throughout life such as learning how to ride a bike, advancing in a degree, or learning a new art or craft.

5. Think of at least 10 ways to treat yourself that are free and do not include food. It could be going for a nature hike or bike ride, playing with your children at the park, or talking with a friend.

6. Then think of 5-10 ways to make yourself laugh, help others, and that makes you feel good about yourself.

Reinforce a Constructive Image

Here is an exercise you can do to build self esteem. You will need paper, a timer, and a pencil. You will set the timer for 10 minutes. Then you need to think about any positive things you can think of yourself such as a talent or achievement. Everything needs to be positive, though. The thoughts do not need to be organized; they just need to come out on paper as you think of them. Once the 10 minutes are up, you need to read over the list and do this several times a day to reinforce how wonderful a person you are. It is even more effective if read aloud.

Building Optimistic Affirmations

An affirmation is a statement that you make about yourself to feel better about your self image. These need to be statements that describe how you would like to feel about yourself over a matter of time. They should not describe how you currently feel about yourself. Here are some examples of positive affirmations you can say to yourself:

1. I will take care of myself by eating correctly, exercising, doing activities I enjoy, staying in good health, and taking care of myself hygienically.

2. I will spend quality time and surround myself with people who treat me well and help me feel good about my own self.

3. I am a great person who deserves to be here and there are people who like and care about me.

If you make your own list like the one above and keep it in an accessible place like a wallet or purse, it will be easier to take out and read from time to time. It is best to make copies and keep them in different places that are easy to find. Once you feel confident enough, you may want to share this list with others, although it is perfectly fine not to. As these are read to oneself over and aver again, they will become more believable.

Positive Reception Exercise

Another helpful exercise is the positive reception exercise. On a piece of paper you will write, "I like (name) because." You will give this paper to friends and family and have them write what they like about you. The point is to not object to anything being written about yourself, just to gladly accept the praise. Again, these are statements you will need to read over and over again and keep in a place where they can be pulled out and looked at frequently.

Be an Awesome Coach - Help Others to Reach Their Full Potential

What is a mentor? A mentor affects the professional life of a protégé by promoting insight, identifying needed knowledge, and increasing growth opportunities.

Mentor and help others to realize their victories; in
so doing you too are victorious. Zig Ziglar another
Master Motivator of people said, "You can get
anything in life you want by just helping other
people get what they want", by helping others to
achieve their desires, we help ourselves, our sense
of self-worth and the gratification that we are
helping another person to realize their dreams too.
If any of you have children or grandchildren, nieces,
nephews think of how special it feels when you help
them as children or for that matter throughout their
lives to accomplish some momentous feat, like
riding a bike for the first time, or helping them
rehearse for their very first part in play. The joy and
sense of fulfillment is overwhelming. You feel
connected to that person; you my friend are a
mentor. See we are all mentors or coaches in life.
A lot of small things add to up to a big difference.
Help others as you help yourself; there is no better
feeling in the world. Volunteer your time or your
expertise for the good of your soul.

Some attributes of an awesome coach are:

o As a coach you may be the guardian angel
that someone needs to rev up his or her
career.

o Other people will look to you for support and
wisdom, plus they will like to share their
dreams and challenges with you.

o As a coach you are able to temporarily set
aside your needs and goals in the interest of
helping others meet theirs.

o Building rapport and developing a meaningful
connection with others comes easily and
quickly to you.

o You have a strong sense of values and act
with integrity in both your personal and
business life.

Be a coach or mentor whatever you'd like to call it,
but just do it and see the life-changing events that
will occur in your life and that of your "Teammate".

Let me relate a personal story to you about a time
when I decided to become a Softball Coach for my
daughter's team. A new Softball league was
forming in our hometown and they were in need of
teams to fill the schedule. My daughter was an All-
Star for her previous team and wanted me to Coach
her new team. Now mind you I never coached
Softball before, except from the stands, as I'm sure
many of you parents reading this have done too!
The challenge was to put together a team that could
be competitive against established teams already
chosen. I took the challenge expecting to just field
a competitive team from the "leftovers" of the
other teams. As the season began we were
expected to finish last in the division. But, through
proper mentoring and an unshakable belief that
we WERE good, we bonded as a team and climbed
the standings. I had taken belief in its purest form
and manufactured a winning and fun team to
watch. In the end, we didn't win the tournament
but I made believers out of a good group of young
girls. A lesson I have hoped they have taken with
them on their journey through life that working
together toward a common goal will bond you
together for the greater good of all. This was a real
lesson in mentoring for me. They grew as well as
me.

In the famous book that I suggested you read,
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Even though
this book was written in the early 20th century, its
principles are just as sound today as when it was
written. In it he describes in one of his chapters the
necessary attributes to being a good leader and in
other words a good coach and mentor. Some of the
traits necessary follow:

Have unwavering courage, self control, a sense of
justice, have a definiteness of decision, have a plan,
have a good personality, have empathy for others,
be a master of detail, accept full responsibility for
your actions and have cooperation to meeting a
goal.

Great coaches do more than spend lengthy hours
breaking down game tape and scribbling down x's
and o's; they operate as role models for their
teams, bringing out the best in their athletes
through inspiration, encouragement and leadership.

The following list contains some of the most
legendary coaches in the nation as well as their
insights on how we can relate their philosophies for
success with our own teammates and our very own
lives.

Let me give you a few examples of outstanding
coaches and their patterns for success:

Joe Paterno, College Football Coach

When it comes to motivation, Penn State football
coach Joe Paterno is a legend -- he has the second most
wins of any football coach in Division 1A
history, two national titles and over 50 years of
success at the same College. Most critics had
counted him out before the 2005 season, but Coach
Joe proved them wide of the mark by going 11-1
and capturing the Orange Bowl against Florida
State University.

Applying his style to your everyday life; While he's
a dazzling tactician, Paterno's true answer to
success is his skill at motivating all his players to
drop their egos, work together on the same page
and accomplish their goals as a team.

In Paterno by the Book, Coach Paterno writes the
following: "In teaching excellence in football, we
have to reach the soul of the player... at the heart
of our curriculum, as important as skills and tactics,
are the purposeful uses of emotion, commitment,
discipline, loyalty, and pride." Loyalty and pride; if
you're one of Paterno's players, that is what you are
living for -- the loyalty of your fellow teammates
and the satisfaction of adding your name to the list
of legends who have gone before you.

Phil Jackson, NBA Coach

Applying his style to your everyday life; As a leader,
tell people why you are taking a course of action
before you explain how.

According to Michael Jordan, who was coached by
Jackson to 6 NBA Championships, Jackson
effectively melded diverse styles and abilities, and
fostered accord among his team. Realizing that
each athlete possesses distinctive emotional,
mental and spiritual attributes, Jackson's
achievements relied on taking a natural approach to
leading his players to new heights of achievement.

Joe Torre, Major League Baseball Coach

Applying his style to your everyday life; Treat your
fellow teammates as separate, multifaceted
persons and try to distinguish the root of their
behaviors that you hope to encourage or
discourage.

Here's what you can learn from his actions; Torre's
first law for success is accepting each and every
one of his players; he knows their abilities, their
potential and their personalities -- on and off the
field. Torre claims this knowledge is the only way to
unify diverse personalities into a cohesive Team.

How does this make you a better team player; Take
a lesson from Torre's playbook and get to be
acquainted with your fellow teammates. What are
their individual and professional hobbies? What are
their families like? Getting to know your "players"
shows you really care about their personal welfare.

Vince Lombardi, NFL Coach

Applying his style to your everyday life; Lombardi's
motivational skills are renowned. He once said:
"Coaches who can outline plays on a blackboard are
a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their
players and motivate." And inspire he did;
Lombardi's players were loyal to him and his
viewpoint of hard work and victory so much so they
won Superbowl 1.

Here's what you can learn from his actions; For
Lombardi, second place was not even a choice. He
put his players through exhausting workouts and
expected extraordinary commitment to the cause of
winning. While it's debatable whether Lombardi's
style would work in today's NFL, he did strengthen
the perception of the leader as a motivator. In your
life, take on this role for yourself; friends and
colleagues are searching for motivation, and if you
don't make it available, they will search for it
elsewhere.

Pat Riley, NBA Coach

The legendary Basketball Coach of the New York
Knicks, Los Angeles Lakers and Miami Heat, Pat
Riley had as his strongest characteristic, his
capacity to convey his vision of success to his
players. Here's an example of his ability to move his
players to action: between the 1986 and 1987
seasons, Riley persuaded his players to develop
their game skills by 1%. The effect would seem
minimal at the outset, but as 12 athletes bettered
their performance by 1% -- across a variety of skill
sets -- the combined advancement would mean a
team that was 60% improved. In fact, the players
went further than Riley's request and improved by
5%!

Applying his style to your everyday life; Seek out
aspects of yourself and your teammates that need
upgrading, then make solid, incremental steps on
the road to fixing your team's performance in these
areas.

John Wooden, College Coach

John Wooden, the Hall of Fame College Basketball
coach of the UCLA Bruins, who won over 80% of his
games sought to develop his players by focusing on
their physical, intellectual and emotional strengths.
He knew that everything joined as one to create the
definitive player and team -- studying hard
demanded excellent mental power, which helped
circumvent mistakes on and off the basketball
court.

Applying his style to your everyday life; Wooden
had a seven-point creed that rings as accurate
today as when he first made it up: Be true to
yourself, make each day your masterpiece, help
others, drink deeply from good books, make
friendship a fine art, build a shelter against a rainy
day, and give thanks for your blessings every day.
He said no characteristic of coaching is more
important than teaching. The best teachers, he
advised, used direct, clear and concise language to
make sure everyone understood explanations.
Here's what you can learn from his actions; See
yourself as an instructor and lavish praise when it's
acceptable. Your team will repay you with more
accomplishments and victories than you could have
envisioned.

Put a Game Plan in place for your success: